The Seven Vows
Hey guys and gals,
how have you all been? I’m back, but only temporarily MAYBE. So, during my absence, what did I miss? Most probably, lots of new born blogs. There were some which I discovered last night on Mauritius Blog List. Honestly, there has been such a big growth of the Mauritian Blogging World. And I would like you all to say
Three Cheers To The Mauritian Blogging World!
Hip! Hip! Hip! Hurray!
Hipipipe! Carripoulé! 
Getting back to the blog title, “The Seven Vows”, does that trigger something in your mind? Oh yeah! I’m talking about The Seven Vows taken by the Bride & Bridegroom during the Hindu Wedding Ceremony. Ever wondered what each step symbolises? Did you know the Bride and Bridegroom, each, make a vow, while taking the rounds of the sacred fire? Do you know what are the promises being made? Ever asked a Pundit about it? I never did. Thankfully, Mum bought a book by Mrs. Sarita Boodhoo: Kanya Dan - The Why’s of Hindu Marriage Rituals.
While flipping the pages to get an overview of the contents, I came across the Seven Vows and the author refers to them as The Seven Steps Mantras. I am going to re-produce the explanation/interpretation.
First Step:
Bridegroom:
“My beloved, our love became firm by your walking one step with me. You will offer me food and be helpful in every way. I will cherish you and provide for your welfare and happiness and that of your children.”
Bride:
“I humbly submit to you my lord. Kindly give me the responsibility of the home, food and finance. I promise you that I shall discharge all responsibilities for the welfare of the family and the children.”
Second Step:
Bridegroom:
“My beloved, now you have walked the second step with me. Fill my heart with strength and courage and together we shall protect the household and the children.”
Bride:
“My Lord, in your grief, I shall fill your heart with courage and strength. In your happiness, I shall rejoice, I promise you that I will please you always with sweet words and take care of the family and children. And you shall love me and me alone as your wife.
Third Step:
Bridegroom:
“My beloved, now you have walked three steps with me. By virtue of this, our wealth and prosperity are going to grow. I shall look upon all other women as my sisters. Together, we will educate our children and may they live long.”
Bride:
My Lord, I will love you with single-minded devotion as my husband. I will treat all other men as my brothers. My devotion to you is of a chaste wife and you are my joy. This is my commitment and my pledge to you.”
Fourth Step:
Bridegroom:
“My beloved, it is a great blessing that you have walked four steps with me. You have brought auspiciousness and sacredness into my life. May we be blessed with obedient and noble children. May they live long.”
Wedding Z Vows
Bride:
“My lord, I will adorn myself from feet to head with flowers, garlands and ornaments, and anoint myself with sandalwood paste and fragrance for your sake. I will serve you and please you in every way I can.”
Fifth Step:
Bridegroom:
“My Beloved, now you have walked five steps with me, you have enriched my life. May God bless you. May our loved ones live long and share in our prosperity.”
Bride:
“My Lord, I share both in your joys and sorrows. Your love will make me trust and honour you. I will carry out your wishes.
Sixth Step:
Bridegroom:
“My beloved, you have filled my heart with happiness by walking six steps with me. May you fill my heart with great joy and peace at all times and seasons.”
Bride:
“My Lord, in all acts of righteousness, in material prosperity, in every form of enjoyment and divine acts, I promise you I shall participate and I shall always be with you.”
Seventh Step:
Bridegroom:
“My beloved, as you walked the seven steps with me, our love and friendship became eternal. We experienced spiritual union in God. Now you have become completely mine and I offer my life to you . Our marriage will be forever.”
Bride:
“My Lord, as per the law of God and the holy scriptures, I have become your spouse with the taking of the seventh step. Whatever promises we gave, we did so with a pure mind. We will be truthful to each other in all matters. We will love each other forever.”
So what is your opinion on the significance of The Seven Steps. While pondering on them, I started to imagine, how life would be perfect had both the husband and the wife adhered to their promises? But these happen only in dreams or Conte de Fées.
Makes me realise as well, that I have a very bad habit of counting the number of rounds that the Bride and Bridegroom take during a wedding ceremony. And I feel very sad to mention that most of the time they have taken only 3 or 5 rounds. And hence the BIG question arises, why is it that not all Seven Vows are taken? I once asked a Pundit about it, and he was unable to answer me 
I don’t wish to offend anybody by asking that question, it’s just a matter of curiosity. When the scriptures have stipulated Seven Vows, then why is not done according to the holy scriptures. Had it been out of ignorance, I could have accepted. Alas! It’s not!
Anyways… Passons…
I await your opinions/questions/criticisms (constructive ones, though) about this post. Comments are always most welcome.
If you wish to know something in particular about Hindu Marriage Rituals, drop me a comment. I’ll delve into the book and get you the answer.
Till the next post,
Cheers,
Chaya 
P.S: Part/Most of the contents of this post are copyrighted to Mrs. Sarita BOODHOO’s writing in Kanya Dan-The Why’s of Hindu Marriage Rituals.
Tags: Hindu Wedding Ceremony, Saat Phere, The Seven Vows
November 3rd, 2009 at 9:46 pm
Before when my grandparents were still alive, it was easy to just follow the rituals blindly. My bro was gonna get married this year and so, Mom borrowed the Kanyadaan book from someone last December and started to read it everyday. We followed all the rituals in there. The good thing is that we could understand why we were doing what we were supposed to be doing.
And my bro and my sis-in-law did go through each one of the seven rounds. I counted!
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November 3rd, 2009 at 9:51 pm
Hi Roubeena,
That’s indeed a beauty to go through all the rituals of a hindu wedding.
For one of my cousine’s wedding, the Pundit was explaining what each and every round meant, I was a kid at that time, and could not understand. Thanks to this book, I got to know them. And I might discover some more beauty ahead
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November 3rd, 2009 at 10:03 pm
Gros LOL (for me)
(for me)
It is just “la paperasserie”
Disclaimer : I am not responsible for the above words
Good to see you back Chaya!
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November 6th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Hmmm thanks chaya for explaining the 7 steps as I also always wanted to know their real meaning.
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November 11th, 2009 at 11:51 pm
Hmmm, indeed its so beautiful what the 7 steps means, and on second thought, many many people when not following it, this have a side effect on their children…(my opinion)
and that’s the reason i think people do shortcuts, because traditions lost its way in modern life, which is sad but its life. For my opinion, if i would marry, enfin IF,then it would be christian marriage, short and sweet 
pa 4 jours,pu mort sa…Gro LOL
I’ve observed many things in life, even though i am not so religious, I believe that the modern world, would indeed need new virtues… like these virtues were meant for wife who stays at home…Well nowadays, KFC would be our provider of food, X company would be the provider of finance for the wife…LOL..so either adhere to the traditional way of it, or simply try to change it to the modern way by keeping the code of conduct of the wife and hubby
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November 13th, 2009 at 7:45 pm
@Dhaneesha: You are most welcome
@Avish Ramgolam: I, for one, would very much like to take the 7 steps complete
To casse mo leker..ti pu vine mange ti puri 7 carri kot toi… moi mone demande 5 jours marriage… jeudi a lundi 
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November 14th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Great article.. thanks for putting this info together
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December 24th, 2009 at 11:10 pm
I would say that the 7 vows do not have any true followers.
And I wonder why should religion dictate how a couple should live their life?
I find it more practicle for a couple to live on their own principles.
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December 25th, 2009 at 10:36 am
@Yudz: You are welcome
@Avinash: It’s a fact that the 7 vows do not have “any true followers” [I quote], given the so many couples who separate after 3 months of marriage or even after so many years of marital bliss.
About Religion dictating our ways of life, this is another topic, and my point of view is that it’s about a person’s own belief which is purely subjective.
Last but not the least, it takes 2 to make a couple
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January 8th, 2010 at 2:11 pm
woah i never knew about this until tday : )
not that i don’t believe in them but im sure i won’t be doing all this stuff if i get married 1 day 
im nuts concerning these traditional things :p lol
lol
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January 25th, 2010 at 8:59 am
Hi.
actually
i think most marriages..or relationships..(as we are in the modern world now..marriages are optional now) would work if both the guy and the girl in the couple had a thorough read of ‘Men are from Mars and Women from Venus’ from John Craig. This boug actually helps girls understand the psychology of guys in a relationship, and guys to understand the psychology of girls in a relationship.
Obviously, for some people, this happens naturally.
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January 29th, 2010 at 9:36 pm
@S1d33p: Well said. That book just does wonders on people who read. Lent mine to a friend, gotta get it back and re-read. Thanks for the comment
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February 6th, 2010 at 8:51 pm
I have gone through courting and marrying a hindu mauritius girl, Before marriage i was earning quite well and supported her in her studies… and when the things went bad due to my wrongfull doings… I was left… she believed i would not earn well again… and she filed for divorce..
The divorce is still not happen yet… and I am earning twice what I had, when i got married…
reading your post realised how the things have changed… people thing once you get married its like happy ending of married life… but the real marriage and life starts once you get married….
ITS TAKES EFFORT TO STAY MARRIED…. the knots would tie you up… but you ahve to make sure they don’t get broken or burned during calamities
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February 6th, 2010 at 9:13 pm
@Keshav: I’m really sorry for what’s happening to your wedding life.
I would not be harsh. But the girl should have believed in you and your capabilities to re-start afresh.
It’s true that things have changed, girls expect loads from their would be husbands whether in terms of material things, affection, care etc. It is even true that even the girl’s in-laws expect materiality from the girl’s family,just like the famous dowry in India. And when not getting those stuffs, the in-laws start to bad-mouth the girl’s family.
If only the girl shares this with her parents/friends/acquaintances, it will suffice only a mention of divorce to the girl and everything will be over. A divorce is not a one person’s decision. There are many others involved (not necessarily both persons of the couple).
Maybe for you, life is greener on the other side.
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February 6th, 2010 at 9:36 pm
@chaya: My family didn’t expected anything from girl’s family regarding material things. neither me or my wife stayed more than one week at my parents house. we lived seperatly from my parents and my in-laws.
It was not my decision for divorce, my in-laws and she decided to have it as a surprise for my wedding anniversary..
how can a life can be greener for me, could you please explain…. I still live alone…
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February 6th, 2010 at 9:38 pm
@chaya: even after almost two years she filed for divorce.. I still have letters dated back to starting of 2003 when we started dating… I haven’t lost a letter….
I haven’t bad mouted the girl and can’t do..
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February 6th, 2010 at 9:41 pm
To just let everybody know, I am not asking for sympathy. sorry but I don’t want it…
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February 6th, 2010 at 9:48 pm
@Kehsav: You got me totally wrong. What I said was just a general point of view. I did not mean that for you and for your wife since I don’t know what really happened between you both.
Marriage as a sacred institution is not valued as it used to be.
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February 6th, 2010 at 9:59 pm
Yes marriage is a scared institution, and its not valued as used to be….
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February 6th, 2010 at 11:19 pm
Well Kehsav, as a man I fully understand what you mean.
It is absolutely shameful from the part of the gurl. Does a gurl marry a man because of only materialistic things? Where is love in all that?
That’s why marriage is an outdated thing. I know many stories like yours.
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February 7th, 2010 at 12:21 pm
Love is only there when the man brings all the comforts the wife asks for….
man has to perform in the bed as well outside the bed(earning and making wife’s dream come true..) if he fails in one of this, the quits are called right there… rather than takin time-out to settle the things and be-together to start again….
I am not sure marriage is scared instiution since both the partners and their parents are expecting something from each other…. if one fails to have or get.. the quits are called….
In old days, during our great grandparents time… if wife could not give the birth to BOY, the man would have second or third wife….
Lord Ram’s father (dasrath) had two wifes…
Even lord Ram could’nt trust SITA when people started questioning her character… and she had to leave Home while she was pregnant (I hope people knows ramayan
) So our great LORD RAM was also in same both as we are…
Also during old times…and so now, the girl’s parents would’nt marry their Girl to the Boy who has CURRENT status below them(girls family)-(again comes the materialistic thing)
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February 7th, 2010 at 3:37 pm
We still have the Baby-BOY craze on behalf of in-laws nowadays.
However modern the society is, people still believe in how it used to be in the “ancient” times.
About the status, I would like to mention my point of view. I, for one, would prefer a guy who is more educated that I, in terms of maturity and academic studies as well, someone who earns more that myself. This is because I take into account male ego, which is an undeniable aspect. A man would feel inferior in front of his wife, if the wife earns more than him. But that’s my point of view, it is not a general case.
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February 7th, 2010 at 3:55 pm
@keshav: that is false what you said about ram and sita. ram deliberately made sita to take the agni pariksha so that sita is protected by the agni. what comes out is her maya(image) which he brings to the jungle. he does same when he comes back, and the real pure sita comes out from the agni!
it is wrong to doubt her character! there is also rumour that rawan made sita pregnant. but its all false. sita is protected by the agni and she is a pure soul!
i agree wiz the 1st paragraph, abt performance in bed n outside. its so true. lol
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February 7th, 2010 at 4:00 pm
There are guys who would presfer there wife to earn more than them, this is becuase they consider the wife as a BANK and HOUSEMAID, since she can get money when he wants and also takes care of house…
If I am not wrong, I have myself got acquainted with families where the husband has TWO wife at seperate place but in this small country.. where news spread in less than few minutes from north to south…
Also there is craze whatever happens to live in UK…
there have been sons… when he even didn’t come to funeral or the 14 scared days on his father’s dad.. becuase he couldn’t live UK…
oh my gosh… what a craze where the realtions are broken because one has to live in UK rather than mauritius…
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February 7th, 2010 at 4:02 pm
CORRECTION: please read DEATH rather “Dad” in above para…
oh my gosh… what a craze where the realtions are broken because one has to live in UK rather than mauritius…
there have been sons… when he even didn’t come to funeral or the 14 scared days on his father’s dad.. becuase he couldn’t live UK…
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February 22nd, 2010 at 9:36 am
Hey
Thanks for share..I like dis post
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February 22nd, 2010 at 6:45 pm
@VISHAL: Thanks for dropping by and thanks for the comment
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